| My bookshelf is overflowing and
many are dust collectors or bad picks but the
majority are valuable components of my personal
support system. I turn to them like I would a
dear friend and some of them I take very seriously.
I only suggest books that I have read and that
I find valuable or useful. I do not suggest reading
the entire list. Pick one and concentrate on one
book at a time. Reading can be a wonderful way
to soothe yourself and give yourself some peace
and compassion for who you are today. Books that
are designed to teach you take energy to read.
The trick is to not over self diagnose and continually
look for a quick fix. Too many self-help books
will only help you to feel defeated. Find something
that makes a connection with you, speaks in a
way you can relate and then embrace it. Slow absorption
is the most effective way to ensure real change.
The use of self-learning books should be a compliment
to your journey rather than the be all, end all.
Use books as a tool but not as the only foundation
of your self-discovery. Remember your reading
is about learning about yourself not determining
what’s wrong with others or identifying
how others are at fault. Lastly, if you pick up
a book and it violates your senses, I don’t
care who suggested it, put it down. Trust yourself
first.
Divorce,
separation and related issues
Rebuilding
– Bruce Fisher
Rebuilding has practical guidance for learning
the emotional steps involved in the process
of divorce. The reading is plain, simple and
easy to follow. Well laid out and organized
for quick referral. Excellent suggestions,
exercises and very informative. |
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Family First
– Dr. Phil McGraw
It seems everywhere you turn you see something
about Phil McGraw and certainly everyone is
speaking in Dr. Phil-isms, however the man
has solid methods with excellent information.
In Family First’s chapter 2 he has some
very valuable, concise information that speaks
directly to divorced and blended families.
All 14 pages of this chapter are jam packed
with easy to read, simple and clear advice
for divorced and step families. The rest of
the book has many excellent parenting tips
that can be incorporated into any family configuration.
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Real Boys
– William Pollack, Ph. D.
In a world with many resources dedicated to
the understanding of young females, this text
is an in-depth look at the life and mind of
boys. If you have a son this book is a must
to read and to repeatedly referenced. Its
purpose was not only to enlighten but also
to offer suggestions and solutions. I personally
believe that society often misunderstands
boys. After reading this straightforward book
I had more insight into what made my son tick
but also how I had also misunderstood the
workings of the male mind. Subliminally, I
had been part of mindset that gave boys conflicting
messages and expected them to live up to impossible
criteria (Be manly, yet empathetic, cool but
open, strong yet vulnerable) without a societal
foundation that would support that expectation.
This book is a must to anyone that has a relationship
with a male, I only wish it there were many
more resources on this topic. |
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Queen Bees
and Wannabees: Helping
your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends
and other realities of adolescence.
–Rosalind Wiseman
This book was at times very amusing but its
harsh look was both welcome and intimidating.
While at it times it made me cringe I felt
the subjects too important to close my eyes
to. There are plenty of offerings of sound
practical advice for parenting but also for
parental self-evaluation. While the contents
of this book doesn’t have the same soothing
affect as most of my other important books,
I consider it a necessary addition to the
library of any parent of a daughter. |
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Personal growth
The
Care of the Soul –Thomas
Moore
I remember 15 years ago when my counselor
recommended this book, I felt desperate and
was willing to read anything. When I read
this book, it was like having searched for
years for a cure for a mysterious ailment
and stumbling across it. This book spoke to
my pain and anguish and brought the first
ray of light. It made me think for the first
time that this cycle of pain didn’t
have to be and that I could begin to understand
it. It was the first moment that I began to
care for my own soul. This book holds a prestigious
place of honor on my bookshelf. |
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The Seat of
the Soul - Gary Zukav
I read The Seat of the Soul at a time when
I couldn’t understand why I behaved
so unconsciously. I couldn’t see my
part in the bigger picture, the universe.
This enhanced my knowledge of concepts that
I had only understood on the surface. This
book is at times a conceptually complicated
read and should be done in intervals to completely
grasp and absorb the material. While the wording
is an easy read the concepts were deep enough
that it took time to wrap my brain around
each chapter before moving on.
A very healing book. |
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The Power
of Now – Eckhart Tolle
This book was suggested and eventually given
to me by a dear friend. When I first looked
at the cover and its claim to be ‘A
guide to spiritual enlightenment’ I
was immediately skeptical. It had been highly
recommended and I went against my first impressions
and opened it anyway. Chapter one’s
title is You are not your Mind. I found the
suggestion intriguing and this made me give
this book a chance. His concepts and teachings
are deep and at times all you can handle is
few paragraphs. I love anything that teaches
and as result provides relief. This work does
both, and even though the wording is simple
and the lay out is clear you have to dedicate
some serious brainpower to the concepts and
therefore this work should not be rushed.
The post absorption verdict is enlightenment
about yourself and your own mind and that
always affects your spirituality. Once you
grasp the basics of this book it will be a
cherished, invaluable resource. |
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Fearless Living:
Live without excuses and love
without regret –Rhonda
Britten
Fear stunts and prevents growth. Rhonda has
written a book that speaks simply to fight
the battle against fear. Rhonda’s own
inspiring story was the catalyst for her to
develop the theories that are the foundation
of this book. Her theories work and the book
is an excellent source of information and
support for anyone who wants to challenge
the fear in their life. This simple read can
reach anyone at anytime. I highly recommend
this book. |
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Codependent
No More –Melody Beattie
One of the first books I ever read that explained
my role in the chaos that surrounded me. This
age old classic never loses its value. The
concepts are solid, timeless and apply to
any generation. Applicable to all relationships. |
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The Courage
to Heal - Laura Davis and
Ellen Bass
This book is a must have resource if you or
anyone you want to relate with has been affected
by sexual abuse. The workbook has worthwhile
exercises and is a great supportive tool. |
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The Dance
of Anger - Harriet G. Lerner,
Ph D.
Ever wonder why you try to do better and everyone
else seems to get worse? It’s a dance,
and Harriet offers some wonderful incite and
explanations to the intricacies of anger.
An excellent resource. |
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The Power
of Intention - Dr. Wayne Dyer
Wayne explains the concept and immense power
of ‘Intention’ like no other.
He has many books and resources but the only
book I have read of his is this one. His examples
and anecdotes are of the common man and relatable
to all. |
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Spirituality
For those
that learn and heal through their connection with
the universe I suggest:
The
Seat of the Soul - Gary
Zukav
This book is described and included in the
suggested reading under Personal Growth.
See above for the description.
The Power
of Now –Eckhart Tolle
This book is described and included in the
suggested reading under Personal Growth.
See above for the description.
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| Wherever You
Go There You Are –Jon
Kabat-Zinn &
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Present Moment
Wonderful Moment –Thich
Nhat Hanh
Although I am not a Buddhist I do dabble in
their teachings. I am a recreational meditator
and I use these two books in a similar fashion.
At first when I got them I read bigger passages
and absorbed their meanings. Now when I’m
feeling I need a gentle nudge to center myself,
I pick up one of these and make a blind selection.
I spin the pages until the book naturally
opens and follow what it says on that page.
Simple, fast and dependable. Sometimes keeping
life simple seems overwhelming or impossible.
They are very skilled at cutting through the
static of life and clearing my mind. |
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Illuminata
–Marianne Williamson
This is a beautiful prayer book that has been
a powerful resource for finding the right
words to say in a prayer. Nondenominational
and applicable to most religions. There are
different times when I was wanting to give
the issue over to God and this book always
helped me find the appropriate and beautiful
words. Sometimes I felt desperate, sometimes
I was wishing and most times I understood
it was out of my hands and I had to trust
God. Marianne’s book has beautiful,
poetic selections to correctly articulate
that trust. My copy is very tattered, with
worn pages, has many stickies at my favorite
places and occupies a very accessible place…right
beside my bed. |
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Someone
else’s journey
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Tuesdays with
Morrie - Mitch Albom (non-fiction)
Brilliant. Touching. I loved this book and
I was thrilled that it spoke about the compassion
and hearts of men. This book really focuses
on the beautiful relationship of Morrie and
Mitch but the issues are transcendent. This
story presents the reader with many gifts
but one that I found touching was the illustration
of the wisdom and honor that exists in men.
The subjects are relative to all ages and
positions in life. If you get a chance watch
the TV movie with Jack Lemmon and Hank Azaria.
Bring tissues. |
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Laugh,
I Thought I’d Die -
Dennis Kaye (non-fiction)
An autobiographical look at the horrendous
disease of ALS with humor, intense wisdom
and pure grace. Awe-inspiring. Uplifting.
A regular man gets a ruthless disease and
leaves a printed legacy that of a hero. No
longer in print. A very easy read. To get
a copy contact: https://www.alsbc.ca/Patient%20Services/resource_links.htm
to borrow a copy. Well worth the trouble. |
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The Notebook
-Nicholas Sparks
There are many reasons to read this book.
It is a tremendous love story; the characters
are so well developed by the end that you
want them as part of your family. This story
is inspirational but also commands that you
raise the bar by striving for greatness in
how you demonstrate your love. The book can
be very cathartic and cleansing. It will also
drain you of every tear you’re thinking
of making over the next year so bring many
tissues. If you need a quick cleanse of pent
up tears, get the movie. It too is beautifully
done. |
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Have a book that you think
is excellent? Email the title and a description
to me and I might check it out and add it to the
list!
SageLifeCoaching@telus.net
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